How to Set Goals using Values?

Values vs. Goals

We are surrounded by goals! Lose weight. Get the promotion. Get into school. Improve behaviour. Be more productive.

From a young age, we are taught that setting goals is the path to success. Goals can be useful. They give direction, create structure, and help us measure progress. But here is the question we rarely ask. What if you achieve the goal and still feel empty? Or worse, what if you do not achieve it and it takes your motivation, confidence, or self worth down with it?

This is where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT, offers a powerful reframe. It is also where RAD for Life intentionally does things differently.

The Problem With Goals Alone

Goals are outcomes. They can be achieved or not. When goals become the reason for action, they can quietly create problems. If I do not reach the goal, I have failed. If it feels uncomfortable, I should stop. If progress stalls, motivation disappears.

In classrooms and in life, this often leads to avoidance, shutdown, or all or nothing thinking, especially when things get hard.

In RAD we don't dislike or reject goals. However, we ask a better question first.

Values: The Framework That Goals Need

In ACT, which RAD is based on, values and goals are not the same thing. Values are chosen life directions. They are ongoing and never completed. Goals are steps you take along those directions.

You do not achieve a value like learning, curiosity, responsibility, or perseverance. You live it again and again in different ways. Values answer the question, why does this goal matter?

When goals are guided by values, success feels meaningful. Setbacks do not end the journey. Effort still counts even when outcomes change.

When You Do Not Reach the Goal and Why That Still Matters

One of the most powerful shifts in values based work is this. You can feel encouraged even when a goal is not achieved if you were acting in line with your values.

A Simple Example: Studying for an Exam

Imagine a student whose goal is to get an A on a math exam. They study regularly. They ask for help. They practise even when it is frustrating. On exam day, they do not get the grade they hoped for.

In a goal only system, the message is clear. You failed. In a values based system, the conversation changes.

What mattered to you? Learning, responsibility, effort.

Did your actions match those values? Yes!

What does that say about you? You showed up! You followed your values!

In the example, the student may adjust strategies or set a new goal, but they are not starting from discouragement or defeat. They are starting from evidence that they can act in line with what matters, even when outcomes are uncertain.

That is a completely different motivational foundation.

What the Research Tells Us

ACT research consistently shows that values directed action leads to better outcomes than goal pursuit alone. Research by Steven C. Hayes, Kelly G. Wilson, and Kirk D.

Strosahl demonstrates that people persist longer and experience better psychological well-being when actions are guided by values rather than by outcome pressure alone.

Studies also show that outcome only goals can increase distress when missed. In contrast, values based goals promote flexibility and resilience. Psychological flexibility, acting in line with values even when uncomfortable, is a stronger predictor of long term success than goal achievement itself.

You do not need to feel good or succeed every time to do what matters.

How RAD for Life Teaches This

This values first approach is taught explicitly in Lesson 4: D is for Do in RAD for Life. In this lesson, students learn that action does not come after motivation. It creates it. Doing what matters often includes discomfort. Values guide behaviour even when goals feel far away. Goals are still part of the picture, but they are embedded within values, not used as pass or fail markers.

If you want to explore how this is taught in practice, Lesson 4: D is for Do walks students through taking meaningful action guided by values, even when things feel hard or uncertain. By learning to evaluate their actions through a values lens, students are more likely to stay engaged when progress is slow, adjust goals without giving up, and see effort as meaningful rather than wasted.

Goals With Meaning, Not Pressure

Traditional goals ask, did you succeed or fail?

Values directed goals ask, did you show up for what matters, even when it was hard?

That shift builds resilience, motivation, and follow through, especially for students who have learned to disengage when success is not guaranteed.

Goals come and go. Values give direction that lasts.

References

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., and Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change.Wilson, K. G., and Murrell, A. R. (2004). Values work in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.Kashdan, T. B., and Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health and well being.