How to Respond to School Refusal and Absenteeism

School Refusal and Absenteeism, “Missing” School, and What We Can Actually Do About It

In the movie Office Space, a manager questions Peter Gibbons about his absenteeism. “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately,” Bob says. Peter famously replies, “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.”

I often wonder if the same dynamic applies to school.

It can be tempting to assume that students who refuse school simply don’t want to be there. However, assuming that all students do not want to be at school is an oversimplification of the problem of school refusal. In reality, the reasons for school refusal and absenteeism may be many. Students may avoid school due to anxiety, depression, social stress, academic pressure, sensory overload, past negative experiences, family dynamics, or reinforcement patterns that make staying home feel safer or more manageable than attending.

In truth, school refusal is a complex problem with many interacting variables.

While understanding why a student is missing school is important, spending extensive time theorizing and discussing the problem can sometimes become an ineffective exercise in admiring the problem. The more important question is: what do we do about it?

Understanding the “Why” Matters, but It Is Not Enough

Of course, it is important to understand the why. Identifying the contingencies that reinforce school refusal can go a long way in planning an effective intervention. Tools such as the School Refusal Assessment Scale Revised (SRAS-R) are designed to help identify the function of school refusal behavior, such as avoidance of distress, escape from social or evaluative situations, attention seeking, or access to rewards outside of school (Kearney, 2002).

This information is valuable. However, knowing is not enough. Insight alone rarely changes behavior. We also have to do something.

Fortunately, there are many interventions that can support students experiencing school refusal. Some are quite simple, such as having the school call the student when they are absent, or having the student check in with the school remotely. Others are more involved and require systematic, coordinated planning.

SEL as a Promising Approach to Attendance

One promising intervention is the use of social emotional learning (SEL) to prevent and promote school attendance. SEL programs have been shown to improve emotional regulation, coping skills, school engagement, and overall well being, all factors that are closely related to consistent school attendance (Durlak et al., 2011; Taylor et al., 2017).

Rather than focusing solely on compliance or symptom reduction, SEL helps students develop the internal skills needed to respond differently to discomfort. This is particularly relevant for school refusal, where avoidance is often driven by uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations.

Why RAD Is Well Suited to School Refusal

As an SEL intervention, RAD (Recognize, Accept, Do) is particularly well suited to addressing school refusal. RAD uses a transdiagnostic approach, meaning it targets shared processes that cut across many presentations rather than focusing on diagnostic labels.

RAD helps address internal factors commonly associated with school refusal, while also promoting the development of new behaviors that can change the contingencies surrounding attendance. In other words, it supports students in responding differently to discomfort and taking meaningful action.

Responding to Discomfort Through Values

As an SEL program, RAD helps students respond to the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that may be contributing to school refusal. It teaches youth how to accept these internal experiences rather than avoid them, and how to respond through a values guided lens.

In my experience, using values to help students understand why school matters to them is essential.

Teachers almost universally agree that school is important. However, students may not see it the same way. By helping students clarify their own values, they can begin to see why school may actually be a good choice for them, rather than something imposed on them.

A teacher may value learning, but a youth may not, or may not yet. Emphasizing the importance of learning alone may not motivate a student to attend school. However, what if that student values independence?

Values in Action: Independence as an Example

Independence is a very common and powerful value for adolescents. Interestingly, school refusal can sometimes be a maladaptive expression of that value, an attempt to assert control or autonomy.

Through values based approaches like RAD and careful, collaborative discussion, students may begin to see that staying home is not actually giving them independence, either in the short term or the long term. In the present, school refusal often leads to increased conflict at home and greater restriction of choices. In the future, chronic absenteeism can limit access to opportunities that support independence and autonomy.

By approaching values thoughtfully, students can begin to see how attending school may actually be aligned with what matters to them. Once that understanding is in place, students are often far more willing to engage in skill development.

At that point, strategies to accept uncomfortable thoughts and feelings can be introduced, along with goal setting and concrete attendance strategies.

But What About Students Who Are Not at School?

A common question is how to provide SEL to students who are not physically attending school. RAD is well suited to this challenge. Its lessons are short, web based, and accessible remotely. This makes them feasible even when contact is limited to brief phone calls, texts, or short in person meetings.

Importantly, research suggests that brief ACT based interventions targeting values, psychological flexibility, and committed action can be effective, even when time and access are limited (Levin et al., 2012).

Moving Forward

School refusal is complex. There is no single cause and no single solution. Effective support requires understanding and action.

RAD is not a standalone intervention, but it is a practical, accessible SEL tool that fits within a broader, systems based approach to attendance support. It helps educators move from asking why a student is missing school to supporting them in taking meaningful steps forward, even when school attendance is still difficult.

The RAD SEL lessons offer a way to begin that work, even when students are not physically in school yet.

References

Durlak, J. A., Weissberg, R. P., Dymnicki, A. B., Taylor, R. D., and Schellinger, K. B. (2011). The impact of enhancing students’ social and emotional learning: A meta analysis of school based universal interventions. Child Development, 82(1), 405–432.

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., and Wilson, K. G. (2011). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Kearney, C. A. (2002). Identifying the function of school refusal behavior: A revision of the School Refusal Assessment Scale. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment, 24(4), 235–245.

Levin, M. E., Hildebrandt, M. J., Lillis, J., and Hayes, S. C. (2012). The impact of treatment components suggested by the psychological flexibility model: A meta analysis of laboratory based component studies. Behavior Therapy, 43(4), 741–756.

Taylor, R. D., Oberle, E., Durlak, J. A., and Weissberg, R. P. (2017). Promoting positive youth development through school based social and emotional learning interventions: A meta analysis of follow up effects. Child Development, 88(4), 1156–1171.